Every year, when the California Mid State Fair rolls around, Ruben and I find one good concert to attend. You can see the details here and here for the last two years. The fair happens to fall within days of our wedding anniversary so, it usually becomes our gift to one another.
This year, nothing had really appealed to our senses. Journey and Heart were coming and while it would be cool to see them, we were a bit worried we would be the only people in our age group there to see either band willingly.
This morning, on our local classic rock station, they were announcing at 8:15 the newest band booked. It was promised to be of the same caliber as Aerosmith so, I tuned in at work to get the details. Then I called Ruben, “Its going to be Kiss,” I told him after the announcement.
“Kiss? With Gene Simmons?” he asked.
“Yep, Kiss.”
“When do tickets go on sale?”
“10 am next Thursday”
I got off the phone and continued my work day. Kind of excited but not thrilled.
He called back after the website had listed their press release.
“The website shows that they are going to have full pyrotechnics! Blood spitting! Fire breathing! And smoking guitars! We need to go!”
I sat silent.
“It’ll be the perfect date night!”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Fire, blood spitting, and smoke…perfect date night.
“Tickets go on sale next week at 10am,” I informed him.
“How much?”
“They start at $42”
“And the best seats?”
“They are $67.”
“So, we need a super fast modem or we need to camp out.”
“Ok, honey. I’ll set my calendar at work.”
“To camp out? Great!”
“No Honey…”
Thursday, May 14, 2009
The Coffee-Maker
This morning, Lexi popped her head into the bathroom, as I was getting ready. Her eyes were still half closed and it was about half an hour before she normally gets up.
“Hey Honey, can you do me a favor? Can you turn on the coffee-maker for me?” I asked her.
“I did already. And now, I am going back to bed.”
My four year old daughter had gotten up for the sole purpose of making me coffee.
The mother – daughter bond has just reached a whole new level.
“Hey Honey, can you do me a favor? Can you turn on the coffee-maker for me?” I asked her.
“I did already. And now, I am going back to bed.”
My four year old daughter had gotten up for the sole purpose of making me coffee.
The mother – daughter bond has just reached a whole new level.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Mother's Day
Mother’s day this year was the best I have experienced. Both my kids are in preschool so they both made me wonderful gifts in their class. Mateo made me a laminated set of his handprints with a poem about how fast he’s growing up and a picture of him. It was so sweet. I wanted to cry. Lexi made me a bird house, painted every color pastel she could find. She wants to hang it in the yard and we will but there isn’t a bird small enough to get into it.
Then, there’s Ruben. The father of my children.
He got me Rock Band for our Wii. I had been wanting it for months. Let me tell you that I can get lost in Wii games for hours already but Rock Band… with that game, I could lose a few weeks. I opened it up and before I noticed, I had done, “just one more song” for 4 ½ hours. Woopsies! I got the kids rocking with me, singing on the microphone and banging on the drums. It takes me back to the days of being in a garage band and for those fleeting hours that I am rocking out, I forget that I work in accounting and am a mom and wife. For that time, I have my cotton candy pink hair back, I’ve got my led zeppelin shirt on, with my dad’s slacks and suspenders and my red doc martins.
For Mother’s Day, my husband reminded me that I can still be the fun chick I was BEFORE I was a mom. And that’s a pretty awesome gift.
Then, there’s Ruben. The father of my children.
He got me Rock Band for our Wii. I had been wanting it for months. Let me tell you that I can get lost in Wii games for hours already but Rock Band… with that game, I could lose a few weeks. I opened it up and before I noticed, I had done, “just one more song” for 4 ½ hours. Woopsies! I got the kids rocking with me, singing on the microphone and banging on the drums. It takes me back to the days of being in a garage band and for those fleeting hours that I am rocking out, I forget that I work in accounting and am a mom and wife. For that time, I have my cotton candy pink hair back, I’ve got my led zeppelin shirt on, with my dad’s slacks and suspenders and my red doc martins.
For Mother’s Day, my husband reminded me that I can still be the fun chick I was BEFORE I was a mom. And that’s a pretty awesome gift.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Paging God...God, please pick up line 1
There is a huge fire blazing in Santa Barbara currently and the station that I work for has been covering it as well as we can. When the receptionist temp we had up front could no longer handle a disgruntled caller, she transferred the woman to me.
Let me tell you right now, I am not a customer service kind of person so, how I kept my cool I am not sure. The woman started by demanding my name and title with the company. I gave them to her and she shouted, "Well, you're not God! I asked to talk to God!!!"
"God is a little busy right now, handling the fire in Santa Barbara, and everything else that is going wrong here on Earth. Is there something I could help you with?"
"Well, if he's not available, I want to leave him a message. Put me through to his voicemail!"
"Ma'am, God doesn't have voicemail here at the station, is there something I can help you with?"
She proceeded to complain about a promotion that had aired the night before when all she wanted to watch was the fire coverage. I offered over and over for her to turn on her tv and watch the current coverage, as we were doing a 4 hour segment of solid coverage, free of commercial breaks. She was adamant that she would never turn "that blasted tv" on again.
And some ten minutes into her complaining, she stopped. Stumbled over her current thought, and asked if I had said we were currently airing fire coverage. I confirmed that we were, for the 10th time, and she joyously said thank you, complimented my patience, turned her tv back on and hung up the phone.
Now, I am curious, why would anyone assume I could get God on the line for them? At the local tv station?!? Isn't it common knowledge that media is the furthest thing from God, next to hell?
And, really, if we had God at the station, I wonder what his voice mail recording would say,
"Hi, you've reached God, I'm unavailable right now. Please leave a prayer at the beep and I'll get back to you as soon as I can" ? Is that about how it would go?
And then there is the whole idea that, um, yea...if God were at the station, don't you think he would be tied up in an exclusive interview regarding the fire? Couldn't you just imagine the questions?
God, how many homes do you plan on destroying in this fire?
How long will it last?
How many people will die from this fire?
How do you feel about the name of the fire being Jesusita?
Now, God, I thought your son said the next time you came down here, it'd be hell. Oh, wait. Is that what this is?
Why is this fire blazing? Are You SMITING Santa Barbara?
I think I am going to put in a requisition for that voicemail box tomorrow.
Let me tell you right now, I am not a customer service kind of person so, how I kept my cool I am not sure. The woman started by demanding my name and title with the company. I gave them to her and she shouted, "Well, you're not God! I asked to talk to God!!!"
"God is a little busy right now, handling the fire in Santa Barbara, and everything else that is going wrong here on Earth. Is there something I could help you with?"
"Well, if he's not available, I want to leave him a message. Put me through to his voicemail!"
"Ma'am, God doesn't have voicemail here at the station, is there something I can help you with?"
She proceeded to complain about a promotion that had aired the night before when all she wanted to watch was the fire coverage. I offered over and over for her to turn on her tv and watch the current coverage, as we were doing a 4 hour segment of solid coverage, free of commercial breaks. She was adamant that she would never turn "that blasted tv" on again.
And some ten minutes into her complaining, she stopped. Stumbled over her current thought, and asked if I had said we were currently airing fire coverage. I confirmed that we were, for the 10th time, and she joyously said thank you, complimented my patience, turned her tv back on and hung up the phone.
Now, I am curious, why would anyone assume I could get God on the line for them? At the local tv station?!? Isn't it common knowledge that media is the furthest thing from God, next to hell?
And, really, if we had God at the station, I wonder what his voice mail recording would say,
"Hi, you've reached God, I'm unavailable right now. Please leave a prayer at the beep and I'll get back to you as soon as I can" ? Is that about how it would go?
And then there is the whole idea that, um, yea...if God were at the station, don't you think he would be tied up in an exclusive interview regarding the fire? Couldn't you just imagine the questions?
God, how many homes do you plan on destroying in this fire?
How long will it last?
How many people will die from this fire?
How do you feel about the name of the fire being Jesusita?
Now, God, I thought your son said the next time you came down here, it'd be hell. Oh, wait. Is that what this is?
Why is this fire blazing? Are You SMITING Santa Barbara?
I think I am going to put in a requisition for that voicemail box tomorrow.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Agenda:Fitness
Hey guys, in case you didn't notice from the sidebar, I started a new blog, Agenda:Fitness, which is entirely about getting my behind in shape. Because, well...I've gained weight. Enough to now be bigger than I have ever been in MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!
So, yea, check it out. Suggest tips? Send support? Join the cause?
My new Agenda? Fitness!
So, yea, check it out. Suggest tips? Send support? Join the cause?
My new Agenda? Fitness!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Mateo's 3rd Birthday
Little Mister turned 3 this past weekend and the aching in my heart was unbearable. Its always easier to take Lexi's birthdays because she's not the baby. Mateo on the on the other hand...well, breaks my heart with each milestone because there is no one after him. He's the last child I will have!!!
He woke up and demanded that we sing to him over and over again. And, in the car, driving to Half Moon Bay, he repeatedly used the excuse, "But its my birthday..." every time he wanted what his sister had. This gets old really fast.
He rocked his birthday in his very own composition of clothing (not an outfit!) and was the boss for the day.
Beyond the Super Hero action figures galore, there has been a lot of growing up this little guy has done recently.
Mateo has been potty trained. Which I hear is a big deal for boys before age 3. It was kind of a big deal in our house... I mean, there was a lot of begging and pleading...but he now is happy to be fully using the potty. He also is being bumped up to the next class in preschool a few months early. Turns out, he's pretty smart and would benefit from the bigger kid curriculm. Yea! He also figured out how to ride his bike on slopes which is something Lexi still doesn't have figured out.
All in all, he's growing up. Whether I like it or not.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Little Man
Mateo's third birthday is tomorrow. I will post pictures of his birthday after the party. We're driving up to Half Moon Bay and I am praying that the kids won't kill each other in the back seat of the car during the three hour drive.
It was about this time, three years ago today, that I was bawling in my hospital bed, whole body convulsing uncontrollably, tossing my cookies in a tub. I made my father so uncomfortable that he left, unable to listen...or smell... not really sure which.
The doctor had promised that labor would only take about 6 hours since this was the second time inducing. Of course, that was at 10 am, which was a full 10 hours before. So much for that!
Even at this hour, we were holding out hope for a 05/01 birthday since it would have the same digits as Lexi (10/05) and Ruben and I share the same digits (01/27 and 10/27). When 11:45 rolled around and I still had not dilated past a 2, Ruben said he would settle for Cinco de Mayo.
Hell if I was going to hold this baby in for another 4 days! Sheesh!
I got an epidural around 10 pm, only 6 hours past when everyone thought I would have a baby in my arms. The anesthesiologist told me it would be a short one, because, surely, it could not be much longer. Still, shaking, I fell asleep for a couple short hours around 1 am.
It was around 4 am that the pain came searing back through my body and with screams of pain, I not only told my mother and husband that I was going to die and that my husband was going to die, but when the doctor walked in, I screamed to the room that WE WERE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!!!!!
As, my doctor called in the anesthesiologist, I continued my screaming, crying tirade. I was trying to push a freight train out of a hole I was certain was never intended to become grand central station.
It was about 5:30 am when the nurse announced to the room that I was still only dilated to a 2. And, it was only 20 minutes later that I was screaming about the burning hard pressure of a skull trying to push its way out of my body. Just like that, the nurses were begging me to breathe, I had dilated to a ten and the baby had crowned. I needed to hold him in until the doctor came back to catch the baby. At 6:02 am, Mateo was born. And, our world has not been the same since.
It was about this time, three years ago today, that I was bawling in my hospital bed, whole body convulsing uncontrollably, tossing my cookies in a tub. I made my father so uncomfortable that he left, unable to listen...or smell... not really sure which.
The doctor had promised that labor would only take about 6 hours since this was the second time inducing. Of course, that was at 10 am, which was a full 10 hours before. So much for that!
Even at this hour, we were holding out hope for a 05/01 birthday since it would have the same digits as Lexi (10/05) and Ruben and I share the same digits (01/27 and 10/27). When 11:45 rolled around and I still had not dilated past a 2, Ruben said he would settle for Cinco de Mayo.
Hell if I was going to hold this baby in for another 4 days! Sheesh!
I got an epidural around 10 pm, only 6 hours past when everyone thought I would have a baby in my arms. The anesthesiologist told me it would be a short one, because, surely, it could not be much longer. Still, shaking, I fell asleep for a couple short hours around 1 am.
It was around 4 am that the pain came searing back through my body and with screams of pain, I not only told my mother and husband that I was going to die and that my husband was going to die, but when the doctor walked in, I screamed to the room that WE WERE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!!!!!
As, my doctor called in the anesthesiologist, I continued my screaming, crying tirade. I was trying to push a freight train out of a hole I was certain was never intended to become grand central station.
It was about 5:30 am when the nurse announced to the room that I was still only dilated to a 2. And, it was only 20 minutes later that I was screaming about the burning hard pressure of a skull trying to push its way out of my body. Just like that, the nurses were begging me to breathe, I had dilated to a ten and the baby had crowned. I needed to hold him in until the doctor came back to catch the baby. At 6:02 am, Mateo was born. And, our world has not been the same since.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
20 Things You Didn't Know About Death
One of my very best friends forwarded me a link to 20 facts about death you didn’t know that I had happened to read that morning.
These were the emails following:
_______________________________
From: Alli
To: Elena
Subject: RE: Found this interesting
Date: Wed, 22 Apr 2009 12:01:47 -0700
I read that this morning! I love those kind of things. The eye bugging enzymes were kind of gross but I think the winner for me was the burial shroud for the childless married couple. Ewww!
-A.
_______________________________
From: Elena
Sent: Wednesday, April 22, 2009 1:37 PM
To: Alli
Subject: RE: Found this interesting
omg how about the people that were burried alive! Ahhhh what a nightmare
_______________________________
From: Alli
To: Elena
Subject: RE: Found this interesting
Date: Wed, 22 Apr 2009 13:53:43 -0700
Yes, buried alive would be one of my biggest fears but could you imagine doing the deed on a shroud covered in dead person bacteria and flesh eating enzymes?
-A.
_______________________________
From: Elena
Sent: Wednesday, April 22, 2009 2:01 PM
To: Alli
Subject: RE: Found this interesting
depends on the guy. is he hot?
jk hell no not even if I was drunk and high!
_________________________________
And that…THAT is why I love this girl!
These were the emails following:
_______________________________
From: Alli
To: Elena
Subject: RE: Found this interesting
Date: Wed, 22 Apr 2009 12:01:47 -0700
I read that this morning! I love those kind of things. The eye bugging enzymes were kind of gross but I think the winner for me was the burial shroud for the childless married couple. Ewww!
-A.
_______________________________
From: Elena
Sent: Wednesday, April 22, 2009 1:37 PM
To: Alli
Subject: RE: Found this interesting
omg how about the people that were burried alive! Ahhhh what a nightmare
_______________________________
From: Alli
To: Elena
Subject: RE: Found this interesting
Date: Wed, 22 Apr 2009 13:53:43 -0700
Yes, buried alive would be one of my biggest fears but could you imagine doing the deed on a shroud covered in dead person bacteria and flesh eating enzymes?
-A.
_______________________________
From: Elena
Sent: Wednesday, April 22, 2009 2:01 PM
To: Alli
Subject: RE: Found this interesting
depends on the guy. is he hot?
jk hell no not even if I was drunk and high!
_________________________________
And that…THAT is why I love this girl!
Saturday, April 18, 2009
The Newest Addition
The kids have been begging for a new dog or a kitty since Toby was stolen six months or so ago. I have strongly considered a cat but Ruben was extremely fearful for our very expensive furniture. I was more fearful for the little furball. I mean, my kids don’t exactly get that you should hold a kitten nicely. They would much prefer to hold it by its neck as it screams for mercy.
Easter came and went with no new pets in our house and I found myself more than a little bummed by that. I had been hoping to get the kids something to love on beyond the usual plush toys but Ruben stood adamant that it was a bad idea. I begrudgingly opted for gifts that were less of a commitment, like jump ropes and squirt guns.
This morning, the kids and I were watching Saturday morning cartoons and I realized that I was really bugged by having a petless household. I got the kids dressed and out of the house before Ruben was even considering waking up. We drove to the nearest pet store and started shopping.
First there were the dog adoptions. Each of those little mangy mutts was adorable and the kids seemed to adore each of them but a dog is a responsibility I would definitely be fully in charge of and if that dog got stolen, too, I would be so heart broken all over again. Next, there were snakes and lizards, those were a no right off the bat. I will not own a snake. Period. End of sentence. No way. No how. Next there were the gerbils and I just think they are weird so: no. Then were the birds and the idea of squawking all day and night and being bitten while attempting to clean a cage and I was not going for that. We ended up at the back of the store where the fish are and a light bulb went off in my head. A goldfish would be perfect! There’s no walking a goldfish, no squawking, no weirdness, no creepy vibe.
We are now the proud owners of a pet goldfish named Fishy. The kids love it, Ruben is ok with it, and I feel like we have successfully built the perfect little family: a husband, wife, daughter, son, and goldfish. We are complete!
Easter came and went with no new pets in our house and I found myself more than a little bummed by that. I had been hoping to get the kids something to love on beyond the usual plush toys but Ruben stood adamant that it was a bad idea. I begrudgingly opted for gifts that were less of a commitment, like jump ropes and squirt guns.
This morning, the kids and I were watching Saturday morning cartoons and I realized that I was really bugged by having a petless household. I got the kids dressed and out of the house before Ruben was even considering waking up. We drove to the nearest pet store and started shopping.
First there were the dog adoptions. Each of those little mangy mutts was adorable and the kids seemed to adore each of them but a dog is a responsibility I would definitely be fully in charge of and if that dog got stolen, too, I would be so heart broken all over again. Next, there were snakes and lizards, those were a no right off the bat. I will not own a snake. Period. End of sentence. No way. No how. Next there were the gerbils and I just think they are weird so: no. Then were the birds and the idea of squawking all day and night and being bitten while attempting to clean a cage and I was not going for that. We ended up at the back of the store where the fish are and a light bulb went off in my head. A goldfish would be perfect! There’s no walking a goldfish, no squawking, no weirdness, no creepy vibe.
We are now the proud owners of a pet goldfish named Fishy. The kids love it, Ruben is ok with it, and I feel like we have successfully built the perfect little family: a husband, wife, daughter, son, and goldfish. We are complete!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Easter is Near
My kids have been begging me for quite some time now for the "Reaster Bunny" to come to our house and poop eggs full of candy and temporary tattoos all over our lawn. Can I just say, them being more aware of the holidays is one of my least favorite parts of them being in school? Now how and I going to smoothly sneak out and buy the Easter accessories we need? Exactly. I am not. Just like my daughter was hyper aware of Santa shopping to the point that I felt like a criminal the way I snuck around to get gifts.
Anyway...
Today, our downtown association hosted an Easter Egg hunt and pictures with the Easter bunny today, so, of course, at the opportunity to give the kids (and myself) some peace, we went.
For the first time ever, Mateo was the good sport and Lexi was not.
Mateo sat on the Easter Bunny's lap.
Lexi would not.
Mateo got an egg.
Lexi would not even try....
So, here is the best I could do with what I was working with.
On the upside, Lexi totally had the stomach flu this morning but at the thought of getting to see that good ol' Reaster Bunny, she seems to be all better. These fictional icons sure do work wonders.
Anyway...
Today, our downtown association hosted an Easter Egg hunt and pictures with the Easter bunny today, so, of course, at the opportunity to give the kids (and myself) some peace, we went.
For the first time ever, Mateo was the good sport and Lexi was not.
Mateo sat on the Easter Bunny's lap.
Lexi would not.
Mateo got an egg.
Lexi would not even try....
So, here is the best I could do with what I was working with.
On the upside, Lexi totally had the stomach flu this morning but at the thought of getting to see that good ol' Reaster Bunny, she seems to be all better. These fictional icons sure do work wonders.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
The Difference Between Moms and Dads
Yesterday was a teacher work day for my kids’ preschool and so I stayed home with them. I booked all their needed doctor and dentist appointments for the morning and then many more activities. We did all the appointments by 10 and then had breakfast, met up with a friend, and headed to the zoo. By noon, we were at Walmart, and then off to the grocery store. I ran the kids around until they were starving and hungry. I brought them home, fed them lunch, and put them down for naps. While they slept, I did 3 loads of laundry, cleaned the kitchen, and put away all of our purchases. I even managed to get in a little lunch for myself.
I was completely wiped out by the time Ruben got home but he immediately laid down for a nap. A new challenge arose: keeping the kids entertained quietly so daddy could sleep.
When he woke up the kids were so excited to tell him all about their day and the zoo. “Mmhhmm… that’s nice” he would say as he paid attention to anything else.
While I was making dinner, Mateo ran to Ruben and said, “Look Daddy! Look! I’ve got monies!!”
“Good job Mateo…” Ruben trailed off. It was clearly his turn to watch the kids but he was doing everything but that.
“Mateo, can I see your monies?” I asked from the kitchen.
“Yea! Mommy, look!”
Inside a little box he had the ENTIRE contents of Ruben’s wallet. Money, credit cards, Mexican pesos…EVERYTHING.
“Oh, Wow! Mateo! This is great! Can I have your money and cards so I can give them back to the right person?” I asked.
“Sure, sure…its Daddy’s” Mateo said, handing over his prize.
“I thought it might be – I’ll make sure he gets what he needs” I said with a wink and a thought of a swift kick in the butt.
So, I am wondering how long it will take Ruben to put the two together and how far he’s going to get today on an empty wallet because I am not giving those things back to him until he figures it out! Maybe then he will pay attention.
Oh who am I kidding?!? That’s the difference between Moms and Dads!
I was completely wiped out by the time Ruben got home but he immediately laid down for a nap. A new challenge arose: keeping the kids entertained quietly so daddy could sleep.
When he woke up the kids were so excited to tell him all about their day and the zoo. “Mmhhmm… that’s nice” he would say as he paid attention to anything else.
While I was making dinner, Mateo ran to Ruben and said, “Look Daddy! Look! I’ve got monies!!”
“Good job Mateo…” Ruben trailed off. It was clearly his turn to watch the kids but he was doing everything but that.
“Mateo, can I see your monies?” I asked from the kitchen.
“Yea! Mommy, look!”
Inside a little box he had the ENTIRE contents of Ruben’s wallet. Money, credit cards, Mexican pesos…EVERYTHING.
“Oh, Wow! Mateo! This is great! Can I have your money and cards so I can give them back to the right person?” I asked.
“Sure, sure…its Daddy’s” Mateo said, handing over his prize.
“I thought it might be – I’ll make sure he gets what he needs” I said with a wink and a thought of a swift kick in the butt.
So, I am wondering how long it will take Ruben to put the two together and how far he’s going to get today on an empty wallet because I am not giving those things back to him until he figures it out! Maybe then he will pay attention.
Oh who am I kidding?!? That’s the difference between Moms and Dads!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Potty Training is Really a Poopy Job!
Never did I think my world would be so consumed with the thoughts and worries of someone else’s bodily functions as I am, and yet here I am, writing about it and how my son’s diaper days NEED to be over!
With Lexi it was easy. One day we decided it was time to potty train her and the next day she was in panties and doing great. The girl has had maybe 3 accidents ever.
Mateo on the other hand, is the king of control. This toilet training thing has become a battle of the wills in my house. I ask him to go potty he says no. I offer him a treat, he negotiates for a Halloween basket worth of candy and then changes his mind to up the ante and then he holds more power. The more I offer, the more power he gets but just when I am about to throw my hands in the air and give up, he goes.
We are two weeks into the process of training and Mateo is having one accident almost every day and I am finding myself so frustrated and so bothered by it that I can’t concentrate anywhere. I call his school to check in and hear how many times he’s tried, succeeded, missed…I wait and watch as he withholds bowel movements for days like it’s the most important thing. I am pretty sure the next time he goes number two on his Spiderman potty I will be as shocked and thrilled as if Ed McMahon came to my door with an oversized check.
Truth be told, we only decided to train him to save money. It had nothing to do with freeing the landfills of one less child’s disposable diapers filled with excrements or advancing him to the next level of independence. It was all about the $120 we spend a month on him that we could be saving for something more important like, I don’t know, our mortgage?
So now, I am wondering how long is this process supposed to take? What are the secrets to being successful? How do I get the kid to hold it from 8:30pm to 6:00am? Am I going to lose my mind before this whole thing is over, and how does one accident result in so much dirty clothing?!? Do you know how many socks the kid goes through? I had no idea socks would need changed!
With Lexi it was easy. One day we decided it was time to potty train her and the next day she was in panties and doing great. The girl has had maybe 3 accidents ever.
Mateo on the other hand, is the king of control. This toilet training thing has become a battle of the wills in my house. I ask him to go potty he says no. I offer him a treat, he negotiates for a Halloween basket worth of candy and then changes his mind to up the ante and then he holds more power. The more I offer, the more power he gets but just when I am about to throw my hands in the air and give up, he goes.
We are two weeks into the process of training and Mateo is having one accident almost every day and I am finding myself so frustrated and so bothered by it that I can’t concentrate anywhere. I call his school to check in and hear how many times he’s tried, succeeded, missed…I wait and watch as he withholds bowel movements for days like it’s the most important thing. I am pretty sure the next time he goes number two on his Spiderman potty I will be as shocked and thrilled as if Ed McMahon came to my door with an oversized check.
Truth be told, we only decided to train him to save money. It had nothing to do with freeing the landfills of one less child’s disposable diapers filled with excrements or advancing him to the next level of independence. It was all about the $120 we spend a month on him that we could be saving for something more important like, I don’t know, our mortgage?
So now, I am wondering how long is this process supposed to take? What are the secrets to being successful? How do I get the kid to hold it from 8:30pm to 6:00am? Am I going to lose my mind before this whole thing is over, and how does one accident result in so much dirty clothing?!? Do you know how many socks the kid goes through? I had no idea socks would need changed!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Too good to not!
I just discovered these two little gems on the internet yesterday and I feel the desperate need to share them with you:
The Customer is Not Always Right
Sorry Mom!
Enjoy these nuggets of gold!
The Customer is Not Always Right
Sorry Mom!
Enjoy these nuggets of gold!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Never Bring Plants into the House
Garden Grass Snakes also known as Garter Snakes can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why:A couple in Sweetwater , Texas , had a lot of potted plants.. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa.She let out a very loud scream.The husband (who was taking a shower) ran naked into the living room to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind.He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor. His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance. The attendants rushed in, wouldn't listen to his protests and loaded him on the stretcher and started carrying him out.About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital. The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor man..He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief. But while relaxing, she dangled her hand in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted and the snake rushed back under the sofa.The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her.The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp so badly that he needed stitches.The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that he had been bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat. By now the police had arrived.They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all when the women explained that it all happened over a little green snake. The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.The little snake again crawled out from under the sofa. One of thepolicemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over, the lamp on it shattered and, as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through thewindow into the yard on top of the startled family dog who, jumped out and raced into the street where an oncoming car swerved to avoid the dog and smashed into the parked police car. Meanwhile, the burning drapes were seen by the neighbors who called the fire department.The firemen had started raising the fire truck ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out the electricity and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area. But they did get the house fire out.Time passed and both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police were issued a new car, and all was right with their world. Several days later the wife and husband were watching television and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night.
The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night.
That's when he shot her!
The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night.
That's when he shot her!
I figured we were do for a picture here somewhere. This is a picture of the kids the other night sitting in the yard. Its finally warm enough that we can be outside past 5 pm so, we've been taking full advantage.
I am pretty sure, if I were solar powered, I would have been fully charged at the end of last weekend.
Mateo must be imitating the flash that goes off when a picture is taken.
Friday, March 13, 2009
My One Year Anniversary with the Feral Plant
I have a black thumb, those of you that know me, know that this is no exaggeration. I could kill your plant simply by looking at it. Its something I am not proud of by any means but I am aware of and work with it.
A year ago, my boss gave me a plant, a live one. I accepted it with a cringe, worrying of the offense that might be taken if it died within a week.
I started out by giving the plant the last of the water that was in my cup every week or so. Then, it became the last of whatever might have been in my cup. You wouldn’t imagine how perked up that plant would get after a dose of crystal light. I left it on my desk, under the fluorescent lights day in and day out with no chance of ever having it see actual light. It continued to not only grow but bloom.
This plant will be the ONLY plant EVER that has survived more than a week in my presence and I have deemed it the “feral plant” because it does not live in a manner similar to its own kind with naturally derived chlorophyll or fresh water. It actually does best with lemon water, tea, sugar free juice drinks and the occasional soda. And the deep green leaves are the direct response of office ambiance also known as fluorescent tubes.
I put it out in the sun for thirty minutes the other day, thinking of giving it a treat, and it whithered quite quickly. I promptly returned it, gave it a splash of sparkling lemonade, and waited with baited breath. I had grown fond of this strange plant. It needed to live! Within an hour it was showing visible signs of improvement.
I love that feral plant and don’t know what I would I do without it, anymore!
Please don’t call the Plant Protection Services on me!!!
A year ago, my boss gave me a plant, a live one. I accepted it with a cringe, worrying of the offense that might be taken if it died within a week.
I started out by giving the plant the last of the water that was in my cup every week or so. Then, it became the last of whatever might have been in my cup. You wouldn’t imagine how perked up that plant would get after a dose of crystal light. I left it on my desk, under the fluorescent lights day in and day out with no chance of ever having it see actual light. It continued to not only grow but bloom.
This plant will be the ONLY plant EVER that has survived more than a week in my presence and I have deemed it the “feral plant” because it does not live in a manner similar to its own kind with naturally derived chlorophyll or fresh water. It actually does best with lemon water, tea, sugar free juice drinks and the occasional soda. And the deep green leaves are the direct response of office ambiance also known as fluorescent tubes.
I put it out in the sun for thirty minutes the other day, thinking of giving it a treat, and it whithered quite quickly. I promptly returned it, gave it a splash of sparkling lemonade, and waited with baited breath. I had grown fond of this strange plant. It needed to live! Within an hour it was showing visible signs of improvement.
I love that feral plant and don’t know what I would I do without it, anymore!
Please don’t call the Plant Protection Services on me!!!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Wednesday - Hump Day
Lately, work has been a bit stressful for my husband (his firm is finally joining the rest of us, clinging for their jobs with absolute desperation) and so, I have been a bit more nurturing than I might normally be. I have cut out eating out at lunch (the horror!), I have cancelled cable (did I mention I work in TV?!?), and I have been making more macaroni and cheese than I care to admit (can I get a salad up in here?). I even decided to postpone any vacation plans we might have wanted to day dream about for the next year or so (sucking the LIFE out of me, here!!!)
Yesterday morning, the alarm went off and I attempted to shake Ruben out of bed. “I don’t want to get up!” he grunted.
“But its Wednesday,” I coaxed.
“Oh greeaaatttt…”
“Come on, you know: Wednesday – Hump day”
That’s when I realized that even before the sun comes up at least *those* synapses are firing for men.
“Oh really?” He asked as he scooted closer…
I wacked a pillow in his face, called him a perve and hopped in the shower.
The line must be drawn somewhere…
Yesterday morning, the alarm went off and I attempted to shake Ruben out of bed. “I don’t want to get up!” he grunted.
“But its Wednesday,” I coaxed.
“Oh greeaaatttt…”
“Come on, you know: Wednesday – Hump day”
That’s when I realized that even before the sun comes up at least *those* synapses are firing for men.
“Oh really?” He asked as he scooted closer…
I wacked a pillow in his face, called him a perve and hopped in the shower.
The line must be drawn somewhere…
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
That Crazy Man I Live With
One of my favorite bloggers, Heather Armstrong of dooce.com, brought this meme over from facebook and it was hilarious! I felt inclined to share some background by doing the same…Most of you probably don’t know a lot about Ruben. That might be a good thing!
What are your middle names?
My middle name is Breanne. Ruben's middle name is Dagoberto. In fact, he’s a Jr. I saved our son…He owes me BIG time for not becoming Ruben Dagoberto Ruiz III.
How long have you been together?
We’ve been married for 7 ½ years, together 8 ½ years.
How long did you know each other before you started dating?
We met a month or two before we started dating. I thought he was creepy and thoroughly annoying. Two very attractive qualities, apparently.
Who asked whom out?
He asked me. In fact, he would not take no for an answer. I must’ve given 5 excuses that he knocked down right away…he was determined!
How old are each of you?
I'm 26, he's OLD 31. The 5 ½-year age difference, always gets played up on birthdays. God, I will never get tired of offering an arm of assistance for his tired bones as we walk out of a steakhouse on his latest milestone.
Whose siblings do you see the most?
We see both sets fairly evenly which sucks because my two sisters are local and his siblings are 3 hours away but we try to keep it fair and all…
Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Um, our house is the bane of our existence. I cried the day we closed escrow and after fixing it all up to sell, we had a flood and got to start all over. We’ve now missed the possibility of having any equity in our house, thankyouverymuch recession and will be stuck in this evil little house until things change…
Did you go to the same school?
We both went to the same high school but he graduated in 1995 and I graduated in 2001. He went to Cal Poly for college and I went to Long Beach State
Are you from the same home town?
Yes, we are both from the pumpkin capital of the world, the lovely, the tiny, stop sign on a black top of a city, Half Moon Bay.
Who is smarter?
We could debate this for hours but this man refused to recognize “dollop” as a word. He also needs me to fix the computers, cook, make all decisions regarding our children…. On the other hand, he is smart enough to convince me to do all these things so…
Who is the most sensitive?
Me. I am the one who is a step away from being locked up in a padded room so, its safe to say ME ME ME!!!!
Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Hmmm…is this a trick question? Wouldn’t that require us to eat out?
Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
St. Maarten, Netherlands Antilles – part of a cruise last year, thanks mom and dad!
Who has the craziest exes?
I do. Hands down. Mine are the ones who keep reappearing in our lives, either hopelessly begging for me to consider their jobless ass for a second chance, or to hear that they are homeless and have put more white powder up their nose than Whitney Houston. They are some real gems, let me tell you!
Who has the worst temper?
Depends. I have the screaming and swearing kind of temper and he has the screaming and punch stuff kind. Only kidding. Have you met us? We are two of the quietest people EVER…
Who does the cooking?
Me. I taught Ruben how to make Campbell’s soup when we first got together and thought we were progressing as I tried to teach him to make maccaroni and cheese from the box. Do you know how HORRIBLY wrong Kraft Mac ‘n’ Cheese can go? Because I do!
Who is the neat-freak?
I used to be. When I lived on my own, my place was spotless. Now, there is crap EVERYWHERE! And I have given up hope!
Who is more stubborn?
I am of Irish/German decent. He is Mexican… you be the judge. But I will tell you this: Our kids are EVIL stubborn!
Who hogs the bed?
Ruben. At least every other night, I get pushed right off. Our bed is so miserably uncomfortable that the only place Ruben is willing to lay is right in the middle and he tosses, snores, kicks, shouts, and does this weird ballerina, twinkle toes thing.
Who wakes up earlier?
Me. Ruben would not be up until noon if he had the choice. But he lives with two children under 5 and me…he has no choice!
Where was your first date?
San Benito House Deli for lunch. I had the cheese and avocado sandwich on wheat, no avocado…back in the vegetarian days.
Who is more jealous?
Totally me. He gets calls from his octogenarian boss and I go ape shit: “Who was that? Why was she calling? Doesn’t she know its family time?” I might need to work on it.
How long did it take to get serious?
Well, we started dating in September and were married by July so…not long?
Who eats more?
He does. I would try to keep up but I would be the size of a bus! Damn his great genetics!
Who does the laundry?
He does his. I do everything else. And that includes folding the piles of clean clothes he just did but wants to leave sitting on top of the dryer FOREVER or until he chooses to wear it. Whichever comes first.
Who's better with the computer?
Me. Ruben has asked me how to access the internet with the bright blue e (of internet explorer) staring right at him. Yea….
Who drives when you are together?
Usually Ruben. We are both back seat drivers, though. I drive too fast, he drives way too slow and forgets the off ramp he needs on a regular basis.
Feel free to answer some or all of the same questions about your significant other in the comments, or leave a link to your website if you prefer answering there.
What are your middle names?
My middle name is Breanne. Ruben's middle name is Dagoberto. In fact, he’s a Jr. I saved our son…He owes me BIG time for not becoming Ruben Dagoberto Ruiz III.
How long have you been together?
We’ve been married for 7 ½ years, together 8 ½ years.
How long did you know each other before you started dating?
We met a month or two before we started dating. I thought he was creepy and thoroughly annoying. Two very attractive qualities, apparently.
Who asked whom out?
He asked me. In fact, he would not take no for an answer. I must’ve given 5 excuses that he knocked down right away…he was determined!
How old are each of you?
I'm 26, he's OLD 31. The 5 ½-year age difference, always gets played up on birthdays. God, I will never get tired of offering an arm of assistance for his tired bones as we walk out of a steakhouse on his latest milestone.
Whose siblings do you see the most?
We see both sets fairly evenly which sucks because my two sisters are local and his siblings are 3 hours away but we try to keep it fair and all…
Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Um, our house is the bane of our existence. I cried the day we closed escrow and after fixing it all up to sell, we had a flood and got to start all over. We’ve now missed the possibility of having any equity in our house, thankyouverymuch recession and will be stuck in this evil little house until things change…
Did you go to the same school?
We both went to the same high school but he graduated in 1995 and I graduated in 2001. He went to Cal Poly for college and I went to Long Beach State
Are you from the same home town?
Yes, we are both from the pumpkin capital of the world, the lovely, the tiny, stop sign on a black top of a city, Half Moon Bay.
Who is smarter?
We could debate this for hours but this man refused to recognize “dollop” as a word. He also needs me to fix the computers, cook, make all decisions regarding our children…. On the other hand, he is smart enough to convince me to do all these things so…
Who is the most sensitive?
Me. I am the one who is a step away from being locked up in a padded room so, its safe to say ME ME ME!!!!
Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Hmmm…is this a trick question? Wouldn’t that require us to eat out?
Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
St. Maarten, Netherlands Antilles – part of a cruise last year, thanks mom and dad!
Who has the craziest exes?
I do. Hands down. Mine are the ones who keep reappearing in our lives, either hopelessly begging for me to consider their jobless ass for a second chance, or to hear that they are homeless and have put more white powder up their nose than Whitney Houston. They are some real gems, let me tell you!
Who has the worst temper?
Depends. I have the screaming and swearing kind of temper and he has the screaming and punch stuff kind. Only kidding. Have you met us? We are two of the quietest people EVER…
Who does the cooking?
Me. I taught Ruben how to make Campbell’s soup when we first got together and thought we were progressing as I tried to teach him to make maccaroni and cheese from the box. Do you know how HORRIBLY wrong Kraft Mac ‘n’ Cheese can go? Because I do!
Who is the neat-freak?
I used to be. When I lived on my own, my place was spotless. Now, there is crap EVERYWHERE! And I have given up hope!
Who is more stubborn?
I am of Irish/German decent. He is Mexican… you be the judge. But I will tell you this: Our kids are EVIL stubborn!
Who hogs the bed?
Ruben. At least every other night, I get pushed right off. Our bed is so miserably uncomfortable that the only place Ruben is willing to lay is right in the middle and he tosses, snores, kicks, shouts, and does this weird ballerina, twinkle toes thing.
Who wakes up earlier?
Me. Ruben would not be up until noon if he had the choice. But he lives with two children under 5 and me…he has no choice!
Where was your first date?
San Benito House Deli for lunch. I had the cheese and avocado sandwich on wheat, no avocado…back in the vegetarian days.
Who is more jealous?
Totally me. He gets calls from his octogenarian boss and I go ape shit: “Who was that? Why was she calling? Doesn’t she know its family time?” I might need to work on it.
How long did it take to get serious?
Well, we started dating in September and were married by July so…not long?
Who eats more?
He does. I would try to keep up but I would be the size of a bus! Damn his great genetics!
Who does the laundry?
He does his. I do everything else. And that includes folding the piles of clean clothes he just did but wants to leave sitting on top of the dryer FOREVER or until he chooses to wear it. Whichever comes first.
Who's better with the computer?
Me. Ruben has asked me how to access the internet with the bright blue e (of internet explorer) staring right at him. Yea….
Who drives when you are together?
Usually Ruben. We are both back seat drivers, though. I drive too fast, he drives way too slow and forgets the off ramp he needs on a regular basis.
Feel free to answer some or all of the same questions about your significant other in the comments, or leave a link to your website if you prefer answering there.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
The Heart Break Files, part 11
The days passed on and I couldn’t bring myself to write about the feelings I was having. I was completely destroyed by the “rebirth” of Jesse. The more I wrote about it, the more it lingered. I waited in hope for the Pumpkin Festival. I had invited him to attend before the final email and deep down, I knew it was a closed book if he chose not to attend. My relationship with Ruben stayed in limbo. Lexi’s 4th birthday came and went as I secretly held out hope for the third weekend in October. It was the Friday before, as we drove to Half Moon Bay, that I realized, I was doing the exact thing I wanted to avoid: I was pulling away from my husband as I was trying to pull away from my memories. My heart could be in love with two men or not at all but I was having a hard time clearing out the space for just one man to hold my heart.
Ruben and I never did have the conversation that needed to be had about where we stood. It seemed obvious that there was work to be done but we had to rebuild a trust in the relationship we had before we could work on the issues safely.
Saturday morning, after a visit to the local coffee shop, I got the kids into their costumes and braced myself for finality. I put in my mind that if Jesse came to the parade, then I had to face him and the emotions that would come with. If he was not, I had to let go. Let go of Jesse, let go of the memories, let go of the hope, let go of the heart break.
I never saw him at the festival. Not during the parade or the day after. If he was there, I would never know. But I do know that my heart didn’t let go the way I had promised myself I would let it.
I wanted to write to him and ask him why. I wanted to tell him how I felt. I wanted to break through the lack of communication.
I didn’t.
I let days and weeks pass and most of the time, the moments spent on memories would flutter past. I would catch myself reliving a moment, only to realize it was wasted time. I found myself looking at my husband with a softer look than ever before. He was the safe bet. He had always been there, always stood by, always put up with the highs and lows.
Over Thanksgiving, we travelled up to Ruben’s family in the east bay, and I thought of Jesse and possibly running into him – I couldn’t believe that I still held out hope that he was watching. I had to know that he didn’t care. And more importantly, I shouldn’t care.
Even now, months later, I find myself unable to say that the heart break is over but I do know that the journey with Jesse is over. There is no hope to be had.
My family went through hell and back with my emotional roller coaster and it was unfair for them. I pray that Ruben and I live a long happy life together because I would not wish another heart break like that on anyone, especially my children.
I guess the only thing left to say is:
Goodbye Jesse and good riddance.
Ruben and I never did have the conversation that needed to be had about where we stood. It seemed obvious that there was work to be done but we had to rebuild a trust in the relationship we had before we could work on the issues safely.
Saturday morning, after a visit to the local coffee shop, I got the kids into their costumes and braced myself for finality. I put in my mind that if Jesse came to the parade, then I had to face him and the emotions that would come with. If he was not, I had to let go. Let go of Jesse, let go of the memories, let go of the hope, let go of the heart break.
I never saw him at the festival. Not during the parade or the day after. If he was there, I would never know. But I do know that my heart didn’t let go the way I had promised myself I would let it.
I wanted to write to him and ask him why. I wanted to tell him how I felt. I wanted to break through the lack of communication.
I didn’t.
I let days and weeks pass and most of the time, the moments spent on memories would flutter past. I would catch myself reliving a moment, only to realize it was wasted time. I found myself looking at my husband with a softer look than ever before. He was the safe bet. He had always been there, always stood by, always put up with the highs and lows.
Over Thanksgiving, we travelled up to Ruben’s family in the east bay, and I thought of Jesse and possibly running into him – I couldn’t believe that I still held out hope that he was watching. I had to know that he didn’t care. And more importantly, I shouldn’t care.
Even now, months later, I find myself unable to say that the heart break is over but I do know that the journey with Jesse is over. There is no hope to be had.
My family went through hell and back with my emotional roller coaster and it was unfair for them. I pray that Ruben and I live a long happy life together because I would not wish another heart break like that on anyone, especially my children.
I guess the only thing left to say is:
Goodbye Jesse and good riddance.
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