The Coffee-Maker

This morning, Lexi popped her head into the bathroom, as I was getting ready. Her eyes were still half closed and it was about half an hour before she normally gets up.

“Hey Honey, can you do me a favor? Can you turn on the coffee-maker for me?” I asked her.

“I did already. And now, I am going back to bed.”

My four year old daughter had gotten up for the sole purpose of making me coffee.
The mother – daughter bond has just reached a whole new level.

Mother's Day

Mother’s day this year was the best I have experienced. Both my kids are in preschool so they both made me wonderful gifts in their class. Mateo made me a laminated set of his handprints with a poem about how fast he’s growing up and a picture of him. It was so sweet. I wanted to cry. Lexi made me a bird house, painted every color pastel she could find. She wants to hang it in the yard and we will but there isn’t a bird small enough to get into it.
Then, there’s Ruben. The father of my children.

He got me Rock Band for our Wii. I had been wanting it for months. Let me tell you that I can get lost in Wii games for hours already but Rock Band… with that game, I could lose a few weeks. I opened it up and before I noticed, I had done, “just one more song” for 4 ½ hours. Woopsies! I got the kids rocking with me, singing on the microphone and banging on the drums. It takes me back to the days of being in a garage band and for those fleeting hours that I am rocking out, I forget that I work in accounting and am a mom and wife. For that time, I have my cotton candy pink hair back, I’ve got my led zeppelin shirt on, with my dad’s slacks and suspenders and my red doc martins.

For Mother’s Day, my husband reminded me that I can still be the fun chick I was BEFORE I was a mom. And that’s a pretty awesome gift.

The Newest Addition

The kids have been begging for a new dog or a kitty since Toby was stolen six months or so ago. I have strongly considered a cat but Ruben was extremely fearful for our very expensive furniture. I was more fearful for the little furball. I mean, my kids don’t exactly get that you should hold a kitten nicely. They would much prefer to hold it by its neck as it screams for mercy.
Easter came and went with no new pets in our house and I found myself more than a little bummed by that. I had been hoping to get the kids something to love on beyond the usual plush toys but Ruben stood adamant that it was a bad idea. I begrudgingly opted for gifts that were less of a commitment, like jump ropes and squirt guns.
This morning, the kids and I were watching Saturday morning cartoons and I realized that I was really bugged by having a petless household. I got the kids dressed and out of the house before Ruben was even considering waking up. We drove to the nearest pet store and started shopping.
First there were the dog adoptions. Each of those little mangy mutts was adorable and the kids seemed to adore each of them but a dog is a responsibility I would definitely be fully in charge of and if that dog got stolen, too, I would be so heart broken all over again. Next, there were snakes and lizards, those were a no right off the bat. I will not own a snake. Period. End of sentence. No way. No how. Next there were the gerbils and I just think they are weird so: no. Then were the birds and the idea of squawking all day and night and being bitten while attempting to clean a cage and I was not going for that. We ended up at the back of the store where the fish are and a light bulb went off in my head. A goldfish would be perfect! There’s no walking a goldfish, no squawking, no weirdness, no creepy vibe.
We are now the proud owners of a pet goldfish named Fishy. The kids love it, Ruben is ok with it, and I feel like we have successfully built the perfect little family: a husband, wife, daughter, son, and goldfish. We are complete!

Easter is Near

My kids have been begging me for quite some time now for the "Reaster Bunny" to come to our house and poop eggs full of candy and temporary tattoos all over our lawn. Can I just say, them being more aware of the holidays is one of my least favorite parts of them being in school? Now how and I going to smoothly sneak out and buy the Easter accessories we need? Exactly. I am not. Just like my daughter was hyper aware of Santa shopping to the point that I felt like a criminal the way I snuck around to get gifts.



Anyway...


Today, our downtown association hosted an Easter Egg hunt and pictures with the Easter bunny today, so, of course, at the opportunity to give the kids (and myself) some peace, we went.



For the first time ever, Mateo was the good sport and Lexi was not.





Mateo sat on the Easter Bunny's lap.





Lexi would not.




Mateo got an egg.


Lexi would not even try....


So, here is the best I could do with what I was working with.


On the upside, Lexi totally had the stomach flu this morning but at the thought of getting to see that good ol' Reaster Bunny, she seems to be all better. These fictional icons sure do work wonders.

I figured we were do for a picture here somewhere. This is a picture of the kids the other night sitting in the yard. Its finally warm enough that we can be outside past 5 pm so, we've been taking full advantage.

I am pretty sure, if I were solar powered, I would have been fully charged at the end of last weekend.

Mateo must be imitating the flash that goes off when a picture is taken.

First Day of School

So, they went to school – and they didn’t hate it. In fact, Lexi has been begging to spend “all the days and all the nights” there. Mateo tolerates it. At the end of the day, he says he had fun and the teacher confirms that he’s had a good day but I think he’s going to be resentful.
Got them to let me take a few photos to commemorate the day…

Proud Parenting

Taught my daughter to tell her father to pucker up and kiss this (index finger to right butt cheek) – probably one of my very best parenting moments as of yet.

Tomorrow is the End...

The first day is tomorrow. They don’t realize it as they sleep peacefully in their beds but tomorrow is the beginning of the rest of their lives.
You see, tomorrow my children will start preschool. From that day on, they will be dialed into 5 days a week for the rest of their lives. Gone will be the free playing and goofing around as they please. They will be accountable for progress, expected to follow the routine. They fell asleep so peacefully, but if they knew would they ever forgive me? Nah, probably not but then again what are parents for if not to blame every last misery on at a later date in front of a therapist charging you $ 95 an hour.

The things they say

Went to Avila Valley barn with the family today. We were going along on a hay ride when Lexi started tossing the straw everywhere. She was throwing it in people’s hair and off the side of the wagon and annoying the shit out of just about everyone. When she threw some down Mateo’s shirt, that’s where I drew the line. I told her to knock it off and make it better. When I turned a couple minutes later to check her progress she was shaking the crap out of her brother. So I asked her what the heck she was doing. “I’m getting the gay out of Mteo” she said. Somewhere in the mix of the day she had thought hay was pronounced gay but I had to just let it ride because this was, of course, my feather boa loving, high heel wearing, make-up obsessed son that had been hiding in my closet earlier in the morning that she was referring to. Oh the things they say!

Silly Mom - pockets are for Crazies!

In the car this morning, Lexi leans forward from her car seat, shouting, “Here Mommy! Heeerrreee!!”
I look back to see her arm outstretched with her forefinger and thumb pinched together.
“Here Mommy, I have a coin for you!”
I looked at her, so excited about her imaginary coin but was too tired too care much so I replied, “Oh, Thank you, Honey. Can you put it in your pocket for me?”
She reaches down to see her dress and says back, “I don’t have a pocket, Mom!”
“Can you pretend you have one?”
“No! I can’t because that would be crazy – really crazy, Mom!”
So the imaginary coin is completely acceptable but an imaginary pocket to put it in is crazy?
Now you understand why I was too tired to care! This kind of logic exhausts the crap out of me!

Poor Pup!

This is what happens when I decide that everyone needs fresh air:

We pack up the car, grab the kids, shove them into their car seats and head out. Today, I decided that along with freeing my husband to work on the master bathroom, we would also get the dog some good exercise.




THE POOR LITTLE THING! This is what Lexi deemed fun for the two of them....





They Ran back and forth across the Avila Barn lawn,

over and over and over again...and when the dog laid down exhausted, she would drag him until he started running again....now that is a good damn dog!







They are both in bed for the night and it is only 7:30!

I feel so accomplished!

Lexi's First Celebrity Encounter

Lexi was so excited about meeting the "teddy bear". Just thought I would share her quick experience with Fire Safty Icon, Smokey the Bear.

Doesn't she look terrified?

Ruben just may be one of the best dads ever...Sometimes he can just pull it all off.

Little Miss Owies!

My daughter is the ultimate optimist. Almost so much so that she gets angry about it. Every morning I ask her how her head is (see previous post for more explanation) and she tells me, No owie! All better!”

She says this almost angry, like I should know this by now, but every time some one so much as touches her head, she starts crying like they just seriously accosted her. I think at this point she just knows she can milk it for all its worth because she keeps reminding me that daddy hit her on the head with his elbow, “like this,” and then demonstrates an almost wrestler like move when in reality, her father was working on our bathroom and she was right next to him and when he put his arm down, it lightly tapped her head. But the owie she got on the driveway? “All better!”

She is also now completely terrified of the driveway and I can’t say I blame her. I’m a little scared of that thing, too! Every morning, she recaps the events of falling, hitting her head and dropping her “logurt” (yogurt) on the grass. It was quite traumatic and she is grieving the loss of that cotton candy flavored shrek gogurt that laid in the grass for three days. Every time we go up or down the walk, one of us has to carry her or hold her hand and she is always celebratory of the fact that we didn’t fall down and get hurt. I never knew that a toddler’s memory could withstand a week but I guess it can!

Are you kidding me?

Tuesday was one of those stupid days that left me believing that the Universe has a sense of humor and its laughing is directed at me.

My sister had a baby on Monday, Yea! I’ll talk about that later because its special and great in its own way but doesn’t belong here. After the baby was born, she started having seizures and was admitted to the ICU. I had been told that they needed help at the hospital since her husband couldn’t be at the ICU with her and in mother-baby with the baby so, I was in a hurry to get to work, get done what I needed and get over to the hospital to help out. So I was very clear. I need to get to the hospital today. The Universe listened.

On the way rushing out of the house, I was walking with Lexi down the walk to the driveway and the sprinklers were going and the A$$ that used to have our house waxed part of the driveway so its especially dangerous (thank you, jerk!). Well, I slipped and my right knee bent in a way that it has never bent before and Lexi fell, face first into the side of the garage. Ten minutes later, soaking wet from the sprinklers, and we were headed to the Emergency room. I am quite clear that it looked like my husband beat the crap out of us but in all reality it was my own battle with balance that landed us there and I got to tell nurse after nurse and doctor after doctor what a klutz I am.

After x rays and CT scans, here’s what we found out. I had torn my LCL in my right knee, damaged my cartilage and had overall sprainage. I’ll be on crutches (and boy do they suck hard) for a long time. Poor little Lexi has a concussion and we got to be admitted to the hospital for observation.

Ta Da! Did you miss it? This was the Universe giving me the time at the hospital that I had asked for. Wasn’t that nice?!?

And the best part? We were in room 210, the baby was in room 203. We were THAT close! My parents had a one stop shop to visit us all. Thank you very much Universe for your divine greatness in giving what a person really needs.

Just as a recap for you all, I wanted my house remodeled, I got a flood so my house had to be rebuilt entirely on the inside. I wanted to get to the hospital, so I get my butt whooped by the pavement. Let’s see what we’re given next, shall we?

My Heart Hurts

My children are away. They are staying with Grandparents until the Aerosmith concert has passed and all is safe and right with this world again. But, in the mean time, I am missing them like a bag lady misses her cart! The world is not right and I should shout it from the roof tops until SOMEONE RETURNS MY CART, I mean children!

It is absolutely amazing how the two creatures on this earth who could make me writhe in misery the most are the two that I find heaven in watching sleep. How can they huddle with their butts up in the air and their arms and legs tucked underneath? How is it that they manage to tweak their necks that far over and still sleep like all is perfect and peaceful? I pull their covers over their goose-bumped bodies and watch them with their simple dreamy smiles and I KNOW this heaven.

Of course, its then that they wake up and start screaming. Lexi does more of whiney nasally thing and Mateo screams like someone just chopped off a very useful body part, but its screaming all the same. That is when I hug them both close, as though they need soothing and silly me! Who was I kidding? These children want nothing of the sort! All they want is to kick and arch their backs and SCREAM as though I am some sort of criminal coming to get them. If you ever want to know what this really feels like, go to the nearest sorority house wearing a black mask and threaten to steal underwear from the drawers. Its kind of like that! A lot of screaming and squirming and kicking!

Still, these two that have me apologizing for every meal I make that is not EXACTLY cheddar cheese or cookies, are the people in life I love the very most and when they return, while “Walk This Way” is still ringing in my ears, I will give them each a gigantic sniff, a quick kiss and release them before all hell breaks loose!

Out of the Mouth of Babes

You never know quite what to expect with my father. I swear, you would think I would know him well enough by now but, no...he comes out of no where with a one of these...

The other night, I was at a meeting and Ruben was at a meeting and my parents were watching the kids. Now, I expect for them to wrestle and eat ice cream but I would have never guessed what was I would walk into when I went to pick the kids up. Let me paint you a picture. I open the door to see Lexi sitting in front of the TV with "Pa-pa" watching commercials eating raisins, no big deal until she opens her mouth and then...

Out of the mouth of my 2 1/2 year old comes, "Ooohhh! Nice Rack! Pa-pa, you see the nice rack?" My daughter might be the world's first ever toddler sexist pig. Thank you very much! That's about as acceptable as it was when she started telling everyone, "kiss my ass" about six months ago.

Can you believe these things come out of such a sweet looking little girl?












Nope, me either...

She will win Wolfgang Puck's Heart

My daughter is a complete nutcase!

I guess all two and a half year olds are but I just can do nothing but sit back and laugh at this girl some nights.

She has developed a taste for unique foods like feta cheese and spinach; she prefers these things to ice cream. What the heck is wrong with this girl?

The night before last, I heard her walking through the house and then some whining in her room but ignored her because, quite frankly, I was tired and she didn’t have her face thisclose to my face so, I didn’t think she needed me but, when I got up, I discovered that this little goober had gone to the kitchen opened the fridge that she swears she cannot open and gotten Mediterranean olives, taken them back to her room and had been sitting there in the dark eating them like a closet foodie! She must’ve whined when she knocked them over because when I walked into her room that morning I just saw olives and pits splattered all across the floor and the happy (stinky-breathed) little girl was sound asleep in her bed with olive skin on her right cheek.

Tell me we are not beginning all sorts of complexes here!