Date Night July 28th

Every year, when the California Mid State Fair rolls around, Ruben and I find one good concert to attend. You can see the details here and here for the last two years. The fair happens to fall within days of our wedding anniversary so, it usually becomes our gift to one another.

This year, nothing had really appealed to our senses. Journey and Heart were coming and while it would be cool to see them, we were a bit worried we would be the only people in our age group there to see either band willingly.

This morning, on our local classic rock station, they were announcing at 8:15 the newest band booked. It was promised to be of the same caliber as Aerosmith so, I tuned in at work to get the details. Then I called Ruben, “Its going to be Kiss,” I told him after the announcement.
“Kiss? With Gene Simmons?” he asked.
“Yep, Kiss.”
“When do tickets go on sale?”
“10 am next Thursday”

I got off the phone and continued my work day. Kind of excited but not thrilled.

He called back after the website had listed their press release.
“The website shows that they are going to have full pyrotechnics! Blood spitting! Fire breathing! And smoking guitars! We need to go!”

I sat silent.

“It’ll be the perfect date night!”

I couldn’t help but laugh. Fire, blood spitting, and smoke…perfect date night.

“Tickets go on sale next week at 10am,” I informed him.
“How much?”
“They start at $42”
“And the best seats?”
“They are $67.”
“So, we need a super fast modem or we need to camp out.”
“Ok, honey. I’ll set my calendar at work.”
“To camp out? Great!”
“No Honey…”

Mother's Day

Mother’s day this year was the best I have experienced. Both my kids are in preschool so they both made me wonderful gifts in their class. Mateo made me a laminated set of his handprints with a poem about how fast he’s growing up and a picture of him. It was so sweet. I wanted to cry. Lexi made me a bird house, painted every color pastel she could find. She wants to hang it in the yard and we will but there isn’t a bird small enough to get into it.
Then, there’s Ruben. The father of my children.

He got me Rock Band for our Wii. I had been wanting it for months. Let me tell you that I can get lost in Wii games for hours already but Rock Band… with that game, I could lose a few weeks. I opened it up and before I noticed, I had done, “just one more song” for 4 ½ hours. Woopsies! I got the kids rocking with me, singing on the microphone and banging on the drums. It takes me back to the days of being in a garage band and for those fleeting hours that I am rocking out, I forget that I work in accounting and am a mom and wife. For that time, I have my cotton candy pink hair back, I’ve got my led zeppelin shirt on, with my dad’s slacks and suspenders and my red doc martins.

For Mother’s Day, my husband reminded me that I can still be the fun chick I was BEFORE I was a mom. And that’s a pretty awesome gift.

The Difference Between Moms and Dads

Yesterday was a teacher work day for my kids’ preschool and so I stayed home with them. I booked all their needed doctor and dentist appointments for the morning and then many more activities. We did all the appointments by 10 and then had breakfast, met up with a friend, and headed to the zoo. By noon, we were at Walmart, and then off to the grocery store. I ran the kids around until they were starving and hungry. I brought them home, fed them lunch, and put them down for naps. While they slept, I did 3 loads of laundry, cleaned the kitchen, and put away all of our purchases. I even managed to get in a little lunch for myself.
I was completely wiped out by the time Ruben got home but he immediately laid down for a nap. A new challenge arose: keeping the kids entertained quietly so daddy could sleep.

When he woke up the kids were so excited to tell him all about their day and the zoo. “Mmhhmm… that’s nice” he would say as he paid attention to anything else.

While I was making dinner, Mateo ran to Ruben and said, “Look Daddy! Look! I’ve got monies!!”
“Good job Mateo…” Ruben trailed off. It was clearly his turn to watch the kids but he was doing everything but that.


“Mateo, can I see your monies?” I asked from the kitchen.
“Yea! Mommy, look!”

Inside a little box he had the ENTIRE contents of Ruben’s wallet. Money, credit cards, Mexican pesos…EVERYTHING.

“Oh, Wow! Mateo! This is great! Can I have your money and cards so I can give them back to the right person?” I asked.

“Sure, sure…its Daddy’s” Mateo said, handing over his prize.

“I thought it might be – I’ll make sure he gets what he needs” I said with a wink and a thought of a swift kick in the butt.

So, I am wondering how long it will take Ruben to put the two together and how far he’s going to get today on an empty wallet because I am not giving those things back to him until he figures it out! Maybe then he will pay attention.

Oh who am I kidding?!? That’s the difference between Moms and Dads!

Wednesday - Hump Day

Lately, work has been a bit stressful for my husband (his firm is finally joining the rest of us, clinging for their jobs with absolute desperation) and so, I have been a bit more nurturing than I might normally be. I have cut out eating out at lunch (the horror!), I have cancelled cable (did I mention I work in TV?!?), and I have been making more macaroni and cheese than I care to admit (can I get a salad up in here?). I even decided to postpone any vacation plans we might have wanted to day dream about for the next year or so (sucking the LIFE out of me, here!!!)

Yesterday morning, the alarm went off and I attempted to shake Ruben out of bed. “I don’t want to get up!” he grunted.
“But its Wednesday,” I coaxed.
“Oh greeaaatttt…”
“Come on, you know: Wednesday – Hump day”

That’s when I realized that even before the sun comes up at least *those* synapses are firing for men.
“Oh really?” He asked as he scooted closer…

I wacked a pillow in his face, called him a perve and hopped in the shower.

The line must be drawn somewhere…

That Crazy Man I Live With

One of my favorite bloggers, Heather Armstrong of dooce.com, brought this meme over from facebook and it was hilarious! I felt inclined to share some background by doing the same…Most of you probably don’t know a lot about Ruben. That might be a good thing!


What are your middle names?
My middle name is Breanne. Ruben's middle name is Dagoberto. In fact, he’s a Jr. I saved our son…He owes me BIG time for not becoming Ruben Dagoberto Ruiz III.

How long have you been together?
We’ve been married for 7 ½ years, together 8 ½ years.

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
We met a month or two before we started dating. I thought he was creepy and thoroughly annoying. Two very attractive qualities, apparently.

Who asked whom out?
He asked me. In fact, he would not take no for an answer. I must’ve given 5 excuses that he knocked down right away…he was determined!

How old are each of you?
I'm 26, he's OLD 31. The 5 ½-year age difference, always gets played up on birthdays. God, I will never get tired of offering an arm of assistance for his tired bones as we walk out of a steakhouse on his latest milestone.

Whose siblings do you see the most?
We see both sets fairly evenly which sucks because my two sisters are local and his siblings are 3 hours away but we try to keep it fair and all…

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Um, our house is the bane of our existence. I cried the day we closed escrow and after fixing it all up to sell, we had a flood and got to start all over. We’ve now missed the possibility of having any equity in our house, thankyouverymuch recession and will be stuck in this evil little house until things change…

Did you go to the same school?
We both went to the same high school but he graduated in 1995 and I graduated in 2001. He went to Cal Poly for college and I went to Long Beach State

Are you from the same home town?
Yes, we are both from the pumpkin capital of the world, the lovely, the tiny, stop sign on a black top of a city, Half Moon Bay.

Who is smarter?
We could debate this for hours but this man refused to recognize “dollop” as a word. He also needs me to fix the computers, cook, make all decisions regarding our children…. On the other hand, he is smart enough to convince me to do all these things so…

Who is the most sensitive?
Me. I am the one who is a step away from being locked up in a padded room so, its safe to say ME ME ME!!!!

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Hmmm…is this a trick question? Wouldn’t that require us to eat out?

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
St. Maarten, Netherlands Antilles – part of a cruise last year, thanks mom and dad!

Who has the craziest exes?
I do. Hands down. Mine are the ones who keep reappearing in our lives, either hopelessly begging for me to consider their jobless ass for a second chance, or to hear that they are homeless and have put more white powder up their nose than Whitney Houston. They are some real gems, let me tell you!

Who has the worst temper?
Depends. I have the screaming and swearing kind of temper and he has the screaming and punch stuff kind. Only kidding. Have you met us? We are two of the quietest people EVER…

Who does the cooking?
Me. I taught Ruben how to make Campbell’s soup when we first got together and thought we were progressing as I tried to teach him to make maccaroni and cheese from the box. Do you know how HORRIBLY wrong Kraft Mac ‘n’ Cheese can go? Because I do!

Who is the neat-freak?
I used to be. When I lived on my own, my place was spotless. Now, there is crap EVERYWHERE! And I have given up hope!

Who is more stubborn?
I am of Irish/German decent. He is Mexican… you be the judge. But I will tell you this: Our kids are EVIL stubborn!

Who hogs the bed?
Ruben. At least every other night, I get pushed right off. Our bed is so miserably uncomfortable that the only place Ruben is willing to lay is right in the middle and he tosses, snores, kicks, shouts, and does this weird ballerina, twinkle toes thing.

Who wakes up earlier?
Me. Ruben would not be up until noon if he had the choice. But he lives with two children under 5 and me…he has no choice!

Where was your first date?
San Benito House Deli for lunch. I had the cheese and avocado sandwich on wheat, no avocado…back in the vegetarian days.

Who is more jealous?
Totally me. He gets calls from his octogenarian boss and I go ape shit: “Who was that? Why was she calling? Doesn’t she know its family time?” I might need to work on it.

How long did it take to get serious?
Well, we started dating in September and were married by July so…not long?

Who eats more?
He does. I would try to keep up but I would be the size of a bus! Damn his great genetics!

Who does the laundry?
He does his. I do everything else. And that includes folding the piles of clean clothes he just did but wants to leave sitting on top of the dryer FOREVER or until he chooses to wear it. Whichever comes first.

Who's better with the computer?
Me. Ruben has asked me how to access the internet with the bright blue e (of internet explorer) staring right at him. Yea….

Who drives when you are together?
Usually Ruben. We are both back seat drivers, though. I drive too fast, he drives way too slow and forgets the off ramp he needs on a regular basis.



Feel free to answer some or all of the same questions about your significant other in the comments, or leave a link to your website if you prefer answering there.

Mike, Mike, and Mike

So, Ruben and I went to the STP concert the other night – yea, I know, you know that already but there is more to tell.
That night we were sitting in our seats, waiting for the music to start and in walk six of the craziest guys I’ve seen since my sorority days. There was Matt, John, PJ (or DJ or SOMETHING J) and three other guys that seemed to be straight out of American Pie. DJ (I’m just going to pick this and run with it) had to be the person Adam Herz modeled Stifler after – I mean he looked, sounded, and personified that character.

These six guys were clearly thrilled to be at the concert and when the seats filled in front of them, they started to introduce themselves. Well, Michelle and Mike were first to break the ice. They were from Fresno or something and were quite the chatter boxes. After that came Alicia and another Mike.

These grown men acted like they had never met two people with the same name. They were SO EXCITED that they had two Mikes in front of them.

So, Ruben gives me a glance and a “I’m about to cause some trouble” smile and I nod, knowingly.

DJ turns around and asks our names and I introduce myself as Alli and Ruben, puts out his hand and says, “I’m Mike”

I swear, I would’ve been shocked if there was a pair of dry pants in that row of boys. Three Mikes in one tiny space was more than they could handle. For the rest of the night, these guys could not get over the three Mikes and we could not get over their excitement.

I wonder what they would think if they only knew…

The Ways We Belong Together

The other day (7/20 to be exact) Ruben and I celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary. As a present, my parents gave us money to go out to dinner so, being that every dollar I get these days goes to something responsible, I forced us to enjoy the money and go out. We went to the Apple Farm in San Luis Obispo. Neither of us had been there in our adult life so it seemed like a nice choice. Normally, during dinner, we would casually talk about our days until an uncomfortable silence would set in and then, for the rest of the evening we would be pulling teeth from one another to get conversation going again. That night, that was not a problem.
Part way through dinner, we were talking about pet owning and Ruben said that I was a bad pet owner. I said, “Look who’s talking!” – he has a ferret that he never plays with.
“Ferrets are supposed to be loving and cuddly”
and he said, “So. Are. You”.
Way to be mean on a nice night out! Were we not supposed to be celebrating our love for one another? I swear!

That’s about when I swatted his forehead with a spoon covered in vanilla ice cream.

I think it was the best date we’ve been on in a long time.

Bump in the Night

When a sound comes crashing through the night and wakes me, I fully expect my husband to jump to his feet with a bat in hand and go scan the house, in hunt of the culprit and beat it to a pulp, assuming it isn’t one of the kids or pets.

This is never the case. Instead it goes a little more like this:


I startle awake and sink lower into the covers trying to think of what I had worn to bed and what could be making that noise at the same time. I whisper to my husband, “did you hear that?”
He of course replies that he did. I then get a bit impatient with him, or is that just the immediacy I feel from the terror triggering a need to pee. “well…are you going to go see what it was?”
He rolls over, sniffles a few times and huffs, “Why don’t you go look?”

Um hello?!? Because I’m supposed to be the wife in the relationship!!! “Please go look, I’m in my panties and a t-shirt, I don’t want to die in my panties and a t-shirt”
“Oh, so you are going to send me to die in my underwear?”
“Just go look – you have all those weapons”
I start to get whiny and beggy but I know, it will be me. He pushes me out of the bed and I stumble around in the dark. I sneak around the house, peek out the slider into the back yard and out the bay window in the front and then, I turn on all the lights I can. I wait a few minutes before moving, check in on the kids, open and close the front door, lock it again, and then finally turn off all the lights, go pee, and crawl back to bed.

“well?” He asks.

“Nothing” I sigh…

Five minutes later, it happens again and I lay in bed wide-eyed, waiting for him to get up.
He never does…
That’s my night in shining armor for you.

Lexi's First Celebrity Encounter

Lexi was so excited about meeting the "teddy bear". Just thought I would share her quick experience with Fire Safty Icon, Smokey the Bear.

Doesn't she look terrified?

Ruben just may be one of the best dads ever...Sometimes he can just pull it all off.

July 20th, 2007

So, today is my 6th wedding anniversary.

For six years now my husband has put up with the good, the bad, the pretty, the pretty ugly, the crazy and the even crazier!

He has dealt with the melt downs and the excitements, the weight loss, weight gain, diets and gorging.

We have butted heads over having children and then how to raise them, what house to buy, what remodeling to do, where to work, and everything else.

He has suffered through all this and still wants to share a bed with me and for that, I say THANKS HONEY!


Now on to the seven year itch…wish us luck!

The Beginning of DIY

Ok, so now that we have moved back home there is much work left to do that, quite frankly, I have no interest in doing but, alas, it needs to be done so we don’t permanently live with concrete floors in the bathrooms and laundry rooms and well, so it doesn’t feel quite so much like camping!

My husband seems almost excited about these projects. You should see him! He is a superhero with a wrench, or whatever you call those things! We (I use the term “we” very loosely – you are better off reading “he”) started demolishing the master bathroom so that we could put in all the new pretty stuff that is patiently waiting in the garage and he was tearing out the cabinets bare handed!! Without one sign of butt crack!!! If that isn’t amazing I don’t know what is. So, this weekend, I think we can start painting and there is rumor of the new cabinets going in…I ‘m sure that, if given enough time without the kids this weekend, my husband could maybe even start thinking about the shower stall that has me completely stumped.







Man on a mission

Blood, Sweat, and Tears, People!!!

So, my dear husband seems to think that in order to write about something as monumental as our house and the fiasco we have been living that I must first, inform you, the readers of the disaster of January 14th, 2007.

Every once in a while, as though I enjoy things like being pinched or tortured in some small way, my husband will convince me that we should go up to visit his parents. I am not too particularly fond of these visits as you can almost read across my in laws’ foreheads, “We despise her!” when I walk into that home but, as a good wife, we go, anyway. Well, one of the first weekends in January, we went up to do just that. We spent a lovely time there eating three day old food that sat out uncovered on the stove that, even when fresh, I am fairly certain that I could not distinguish exactly what it was. I have my in laws to thank for my children’s complete immunity to food poison.

Any way, shortly into our drive home, we get a call from our neighbor to expect a disaster when we returned. Apparently, while we were away, the temperature dropped down to 12 degrees! In California!! And when our zillion year old copper pipes burst in the ceiling and thawed, they poured water all through the blown in insulation, brought the ceiling down and ruined everything from ceiling to wood floors along with all the belongings in between! Our neighbor (who should apply for sainthood, as far as I’m concerned) saw water pouring down our driveway from our garage door and decided it was a good idea to check in on us. It was then that he saw what was happening and turned our water off at the valve.

We made a u-turn, left the kids with the in laws, and headed home to discover the house was torn apart. Immediately, we tried to call the “24 hour Emergency Hotline” for our insurance, but wouldn’t you know, they were closed for the weekend and then the holiday. After 40 messages, we heard back from the insurance agent from hell that it could be about 2 weeks before they got an adjuster out there. Fabulous! The adjuster was rude, to put it nicely – really, I wanted to stick a boot up his rear end and see if maybe that would change his disposition for the better but thought best to do otherwise.

Weeks after going through every piece of everything we had and documenting it with description, price, photo and online price, we found out that our adjuster would no longer be working with us and had not submitted anything…Thanks so much, jerk! Now I really wish I had stuck that boot where it didn’t belong!

Though we had contractors to do most of the work, it really felt like we did everything ourselves, from clearing the place out to taking down the old fireplace and door jams to putting new light fixtures and switch plates in. I’m pretty sure my dear husband and I almost got divorced during the process of picking out new flooring and paint colors but, no, we’re still married. The total clean up must’ve been about 5 ½ months because we are just starting to move back in. I’ll throw in some pictures to horrify you all later. And the house we stayed while this all happened? Well, that’s a whole other story!